Changes of Routine

Once upon a time, I had a routine during the school year.  It went something like this: Get up, get ready, drive my wife to school, come home.  Spend two or three hours composing, then turn around, head to school and teach until the end of the school day, pick up my wife, and head home. 

I loved this routine -- it was predictable, it was easy to follow, it allowed me a lot of alone time in the car to think and ponder and listen to music, and, best of all, it gave me ample and regulated time to compose.

Then in March, my son was born, and that routine went right out the window.  I wasn't getting up at the same time any more, wasn't taking my wife to school, and all those hours I might have otherwise been composing were taken up with more mundane things, like eating, caring for my son, and trying to catch up on sleep.  It was a change, but like all routines, I ultimately got used to it. 

And now my routine is about to change again, and this time it's the one I'm really scared about -- my wife goes back to school starting next week, and from 7:30 in the morning until about 4:15 in the afternoon, it's just me and my son.  All of a sudden, my schedule is dictated not by the clock, not by my desires, but by the schedule of a four-month-old child.  I have every expectation that there are days I'm going to have a good hour or two to compose throughout the day, and many, many more days where I might be lucky to get in fifteen minutes.  I do know that, regardless of how much time I have to compose, the particulars of when and where are ultimately the dictates of a small child.

Now, there is a ray of hope in all of this -- yesterday was a "dry run" of our school-time schedule: my wife went in to set up her classroom, leaving my son and me alone from about 9:00 until 4:00.  Against all odds, he slept two very long naps, allowing me nearly two hours to work throughout the day.  I do fear, however, that he's merely doing this to get my hopes up, and then starting next week, we'll be in the fifteen-minutes-a-day composing territory. 

The problem with any change of routine -- and this particular change of routine -- is all the unknown factors.  As I sit on this side of the routine change, those unknowns seem daunting and terrifying.  However, I've had enough changes of routine to know that in the end, this schedule will become routine and habitual, too.  The fear can cloud that realization, but when I do think about it logically, I know that in time, I'll look at my daily schedule with my son and have trouble remembering a time when my day was organized any differently.

So wish me luck as I embark upon this new adventure ... or, if you'd like to be more helpful, wish my son many long naps during the day so his daddy can get some work done.