As hard as it is to believe, another year is drawing to a close. For many, this is a Big Deal, frequently because it involves dressing up, going out, and drinking champagne at midnight. Sadly, it also heralds several weeks of putting down the wrong date on checks and other documents.
Personally, I've never been a big fan of time and the arbitrary nature of how we measure it, but over the past several years, the end of one year has become a Big Deal for me, as well. The end of anything is a great time to reflect on and assess what has come before, and the start of a venture is a great time to plan, dream, and set goals. The approach of New Year's Day is a unique opportunity to do both at the same time.
Every year around this time, I've sat down -- formally or informally, as the mood has taken me -- and done some simultaneous reflection and goal setting. This is not like making resolutions, which for nearly everyone are vague, "You know, I oughtta _______" types of statements. These goals rise out of the triumphs and failures of the previous year, and are tempered by my own increasing personal knowledge of what I'm capable of doing.
With that in mind, I invite you to do the same. I've outlined the steps below. This can be as informal as taking two minutes to think about this while you're driving, or as detailed as copious notes hand-scrawled on voluminous sheets of paper.
Looking Back
What went right this year? What do you want to repeat? -- This can be from the mundane (I did the dishes every day) to the sublime (I won the Nobel Prize for Knitting). It can be from the specific (I exercised for precisely fifteen minutes every single day of the year) to the generic (I never felt unhappy at work). Answer this question for all facets of your life -- your career, your finances, your personal life, your hobbies and interests ... everything.
For me, this was a really good year all around. I had more handbell pieces accepted than last year, more piano pieces accepted, plus a second string orchestra piece and several violin solos. I edited and self-published my first book. My wife and I found out we'll be expecting our first child. As a result, our finances are doing really well, primarily in the form of a nice fund we're building up to both handle unexpected baby expenses and to buy a second car when baby comes. Mi estudio de español va muy bien, también. Todavía tengo muchas cosas a aprender, pero es un buen comienzo.
What went wrong this year? What do you NOT want to repeat? Were there any catastrophic failures this year? Anything that, if it's all just the same, you want to make sure never happens to you again? Was there anything you tried that just fizzled out? Was there anything that happened that, while it may not be directly your fault (a layoff, a robbery), you might be able to help guard against in the future?
I've learned I don't enjoy T-boning another car on a country road while driving nearly forty-five miles an hour. Yes, it wasn't my fault, so not only did my insurance rates not go up, but when they totaled the car we were able to purchase another brand new Civic (complete with warranty) for about $1000 out of pocket, but the trouble, hassle, months of extra chiropractor appointments ... just not worth it.
Was there anything that, while it wasn't exactly a failure, didn't quite live up to your expectations? Some endeavor your tried that fell a little short? Some financial or weight loss goal that you didn't reach? Some aspect of your relationships that, while not bad, could have been better?
I didn't write nearly as many pieces this year as I had wanted. I had grand goals for how much I was going to compose, and it just never materialized. In fact, though I got more published this year, it was a direct result of how much I composed last year -- I actually wrote fewer pieces this year than I did last year. My novel didn't sell as well as I would have liked, partly because I think I priced it too high, and partly because I had (and still have) no idea how to promote it. These are things I'd like to fix in the coming year.
Looking Forward
What do you want to repeat this coming year? What steps can you take to make sure that happens? Did your exercise program go well because you worked out with a friend? Did your career go well because you teamed up with the right people? Did your credit card bills stay low because you tracked your spending? Even though we can't control every aspect of our lives, what actions can you repeat that will help ensure that what happened before happens again?
I'm really pleased with so many of the personal relationships I've built this year, especially with many of my musicians at church, and with many other musicians in the handbell community at large. I'd like to keep those relationships strong by staying in touch and continuing to help those people out in whatever ways I'm able.
What would you rather not repeat? What steps can you take to try to prevent that? Did you lose a job? Did you mess up a relationship with a friend or family member? Did your side business fizzle? What can you learn from that to avoid repeating your missteps?
I've learned never to trust other drivers out on the road to behave as they always ought. Even though my car accident was just that -- an accident -- I might have been able to avoid it if I hadn't expected the other car at the cross street to stay stopped at its stop sign. Yes, a stop sign means stop, and cross traffic had the right of way ... but if I had been a bit more cautious and not put my fate in the mystical powers of a large, red, octagonal sign to hold vehicles at bay, I might still be in my beloved blue Civic instead of my new red Civic.
What do you want to improve this year? What can you learn about your tiny mistakes and unrealized plans? Did your weight loss plan not go so well? Why? Was it because you never exercised, or you refused to give up your daily triple venti mocha with whip? Was your career not as successful as you wanted? Did you really give it your all ... or is it maybe not as big and important a part of your life as you thought it was?
For most of us, this is the area we struggle with the most. For most of the time, our lives go more or less where we want them to, just maybe not exactly as we want them to. It's learning from the little mistakes and problems along the way that help us redirect the sailboat of our lives and head once more where we wish. The things we want to change here aren't failures ... but they're not our biggest successes, either.
I've got so many here that I can't list them all, but I'll give a few. A big one for me is how much I composed. I had great plans that never panned out. I still wrote (and more and more I'm writing because a specific person or publisher has asked for a piece, which I like), but not as much as I have in previous years. The biggest culprit was time. I think if I start saying, "No," more in other areas of my life, I can free up some of the time that's important for my creating, both composing and writing.
I've also found myself spending more and more time on things that either aren't important to me, or else aren't as financially valuable as other things, and part of my plan for the coming year is to weed out some of those activities in favor of ones that well help propel me where I want to go in life.
I feel like I've done a respectable job of getting myself and our life here at home ready for the coming of our child, but I know there's still more to do. I know I can never be totally ready, but I want to make sure that, when the time comes, I'm as ready as I can be.
I've also let my health and weight go this year. I haven't gained two hundred pounds or anything like that, but with all the other demands on my time, fitness is something that's gone out the window. I want to spend more time this coming year trying to help keep this body in good enough shape that it will let me keep composing, writing, and creating for many more years to come.
I wish you all luck in the coming days with your reflections and resolutions, and even more luck in the coming year creating the life you want to have. Blessings to you all, and Happy New Year.
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